...

I feel like its all happening again. Same conversation different people and there is nothing I can do to stop it. It breaks my heart and makes me feel like I am the one to blame. I guess I am. Odds are against me, two relationships having the same exact issue...yeah its me.
Why am I always the one to sacrificy, though? You can say that it is just my mind, sure. You can say that i am just being dramatic. Maybe i am. Maybe I'm just a pussy and I don't stand up and say "No, this is the way its going to be be. I like this, I want this."
I just feel if I would do anything for someone why can't they do the same in return.
To say that you went above and beyond to win me and all girls do it, I just can't believe it. You find nothing wrong with pretending you were someone else (or felt a different way, I understand you weren't decieving me and pretending you were someone completely different) to win them and than to fall back to the way you really feel when you just couldn't keep the front up anymore?
I suppose I write this in hopes you will either read this or I I'll have enough balls to show you/say something. I know it doesn't matter if it happens or not. You are not all of a sudden going to say, " I understand what you mean. Lets change this right now." It will be the same. You are who you are and I am who I am.
I'm just so tired of trying to please you. Most of the time it doesn't seem like it is enough. Than again you can say the same about me.